Men's Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write the relationship rules from the man's point of view. These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered "1" on purpose.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports- its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what your want. Let us be clear on this one; Subtle hints do not work! Strong Hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are, don't ask us. Fact is we probably are too, and you don't see us asking you.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the OTHER one.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say, "Nothing", we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...REALLY!

1. Don't tell me to get in shape. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I will have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping out.

Toys that Didn't Live up to their Billing (Toys that Sucked)

You may remember me talking earlier about my brother Pinata. You may recollect that I call him Pinata because sometimes I just want to hit him with a stick. Well, today he went to the doctor for a physical. When the doctor asked him if there was anything she could do for him, he asked, "Have you got anything I can take for acute hypochondrism?" Now you know why I call him Pinata.

I heard a topic on a radio station lately that got me thinking about growing up in the 60's and 70's and the toys I wanted and usually didn't get.

I thought it would be a fun topic for a blog: Toys that didn't live up to the way they were portrayed on the commercials or on the front of the box.

Here are a few I came up with, but I would like for you to add some in the comments:

Slinky-Did anyone you know ever get a slinky to go more than one step. On the commercial they showed it going all the way down, but when you tried it at home, it just went plunk! And if you had carpet, forget it! If it ever got tangled up, it was worse than a Rubik's cube. The sad thing is, we all bought them for our kids too (didn't you?)

Boomerang-Oh yeah, they looked cool. You could just throw it and it would come back to you, just like in Australia. More realistic, you would throw it and it would slice off into the neighbors yard and land on their roof. Or it would hit the ground at mach speed, ricocheting off the pavement and hitting Timmy in the back of the head. (where was brother Pinata when I needed him?)

Electric Football-I put this on reluctantly because I spent hours playing this game even though it didn't do what it was supposed to. I would take the little cotton football (when I ran out of footballs, I used the ends of Qtips or belly button lint) and watch the player vibrate up and down and sideways on the field, with no order at all. I wished even at ten that the game would've came with cheerleaders to watch.

Now it's your turn. What game do you remember being a flop?