Random Observations on Life

Random Observations on Life

Over time, owners do resemble their dogs!

This is a blog about a dog. Well not really. This is the more about the ramblings of the dog's dutiful owner, Blue's Dad. Although Blue might be the backdrop of this whole experiment, there's no telling where this trail will lead me. I apologize ahead of time for the randomness of my observations. I've always tended to color outside the lines.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Men's Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write the relationship rules from the man's point of view. These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered "1" on purpose.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports- its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what your want. Let us be clear on this one; Subtle hints do not work! Strong Hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are, don't ask us. Fact is we probably are too, and you don't see us asking you.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the OTHER one.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say, "Nothing", we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...REALLY!

1. Don't tell me to get in shape. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I will have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping out.


Lisa said...

Now that should be published. That is way funny. My favorite is number 1.

Karl Schempp said...

I have to disagree with my sister on this one. I liked number 1. I could not agree more with anwering a question with "yes" or "no." It is just like picking "right" or "left" just pick one!

glen said...

My wife won't let me read this kind of stuff.

glen said...

HEY! they are all # 1!????? I bet Lisa and Karl didn't even notice.

Karl Schempp said...

"What the ..." Oh crap! They all are number 1. See what my Arkansaw grammer skewl did fer me.

Jjudd said...

Men are too simple! ;) Try being confusing like women. Hahaha.

Shari said...

Where are you? Did you fall off the earth? Do we need to send someone to find you? Really, where did you go? Are you ever coming back? We miss you!