Coming Out of the Closet

This is one of my previous posts that got lots of feedback. Enjoy and comment!

For many years, I've held a secret. It's a secret that I've only told a few people, people very close to me. I've not been open about it before, for fear of retribution to me or my family. What I am about to confess will not be popular, but I must be true to myself. I hate big pick-up trucks! There I said it, it's in the open! Judge me if you must.

Now I'm not talking about the occasional standard F-150 and maybe even an F-250, but I'm talking about the truck so big, that there can't be a logical, practical use for it. A truck whose front and back bumper are potentially in two different zip codes!

I'm talking about the type of truck that takes up two stalls at the front of the parking lot. The kind of truck that pulls up beside you at an intersection and completely blocks your view and your only hope is to see UNDER it.

I know that someone might need this size of truck....No, I take it back, I can't think of a person who would need this size of truck.

I know I am generalizing, but watch the type of drivers that have these trucks. They generally are short little guys with a mullet who in another time in their life would be driving a Trans-Am. They've usually got their bleached blond Tanya Harding wannabe scrunched up next to them on their bench seat.

Once I pursued having a bumper sticker made for my car that said, "The bigger the truck, the smaller the penis!" I quickly came to my senses, knowing if I did this, one day I would return to find my car crushed with one big tire print all the way along the crumpled piece of metal that used to be my Yugo.

There! I came out! It feels good to come clean about my feelings. I no longer need to pretend I am someone I'm not, but now I need to fear for the retribution. Oh well. History is made of brave people taking a stand, now I can be included in that distinguished list.