For many years, I've held a secret. It's a secret that I've only told a few people, people very close to me. I've not been open about it before, for fear of retribution to me or my family. What I am about to confess will not be popular, but I must be true to myself.
I hate big pick-up trucks! There I said it, it's in the open! Judge me if you must.
Now I'm not talking about the occasional standard F-150 and maybe even an F-250, but I'm talking about the truck so big, that there can't be a logical, practical use for it. A truck whose front and back bumper are potentially in two different zip codes!
I'm talking about the type of truck that takes up two stalls at the front of the parking lot. The kind of truck that pulls up beside you at an intersection and completely blocks your view and your only hope is to see UNDER it.
I know that someone might need this size of truck....No, I take it back, I can't think of a person who would need this size of truck.
I know I am generalizing, but watch the type of drivers that have these trucks. They generally are short little guys with a mullet who in another time in their life would be driving a Trans-Am. They've usually got their bleached blond Tanya Harding wannabe scrunched up next to them on their bench seat.
Once I pursued having a bumper sticker made for my car that said, "The bigger the truck, the smaller the penis!" I quickly came to my senses, knowing if I did this, one day I would return to find my car crushed with one big tire print all the way along the crumpled piece of metal that used to be my Yugo.
There! I came out! It feels good to come clean about my feelings. I no longer need to pretend I am someone I'm not, but now I need to fear for the retribution. Oh well. History is made of brave people taking a stand, now I can be included in that distinguished list.
Random Observations on Life
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6 comments:
You outdo yourself everytime. I am so glad these rantings are published. They are great!
Sorry... I forgot to add that I love the Tonya Harding description!!!!
I love reading your blog. Keep it up. You make my day!!!
The old lady in ER
I am right there with you on the big trucks. The bigger the truck the smaller the man. And don't forget the high voice to go with the small man and big truck. There are a few of these in our neighborhood. It is fun to watch these men bail out of their trucks. It is even more fun to watch them get in. My personal favorite is when they put semi truck mud flaps on their trucks, such as Kenworth or Peterbuilt. Keep up the blogging, we love it.
Karl
Get over yourself Bluesdad. You know you like them after allyou are a "HILLBILLY" from Arkensaw.and big pickups are just a part of you. The biggest problem is what to do with them when they stop working They will take up a lot of space in the yard and lots of blocks to put them on. Shuttles husband made a swimming pool for his boy in the back of his. and you can fit a full size Harley in the back of one. So just back off.
Shhhhhhh Don't tell anyone but I agree. I am one of those that take two parking spots because well I can't park the dang thang! I have even seen an AR plate that states OIMBIG
But when we lived in VA and had the only truck on the block. My Hubby Your Nephew-in-law and some of your readers childhood friend, made me Soooo "Proud" I had to blog about it.
http://wandrsmith-scuttle.blogspot.com/2007
/05/my-hubby-country-boy.html
(you might have to cut and paste it to get it to work)
And to see some other crazy stuff he's done with this truck go here http://wandrsmith.blogspot.com/
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